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Introduction


Do you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep getting into repetitive arguments over the same things? Have hidden resentments toward him and a mountain of unmet needs? If you're like a lot of other gay couples Cheap Under Armour Curry Shoes Clearance , chances are your listening skills might need a jump-start; and if it's not that, then fine-tuning your ability to listen can go a long way toward bridging the gap between you and your lover and bringing about more clarity and connection in your relationship.


Conflict is inevitable when you're a couple, but how you go about negotiating it can mean the difference between cuddling on the couch together or sleeping on opposite sides of the bed when you retire for the evening. Being able to productively listen and attend to your partner is key for effective communication Cheap Under Armour Curry 6 Shoes , and listening is also a pre-requisite for conflict resolution.


As men in our society, we haven't been trained real well in matters of emotion and communication. This can create a tenuous backdrop in a relationship with two men operating from the same conditioning. Not only can it be an obstacle to achieving true intimacy, but it can also cause partners to withdraw emotionally Cheap Under Armour Curry 5 Shoes , avoid dealing with problems, or become competitive towards one another if not careful.


Listening is a very complex communication skill that is best taught in counseling or coaching sessions and there are literally zillions of manuals and books out there on the subject. I will try to simplify this using the Stop-Look-Listen model that is typically taught to young children with impulse-control issues. And mind you, I am not comparing us gay men to children! But this is a simple framework to operate from and I encourage you to read up on this issue in the other literature out there for more depth. Listening and communication problems are the number one reasons for conflict in relationships Cheap Under Armour Curry 4 Shoes , both straight and gay, and this model will help you learn how to be fully present with your partner.


Step 1: STOP!



Step 2: LOOK!


So now you've come back together again after your cool-down period all relaxed and ready to be attentive. Great! You and your lover should go to a place free from distractions so nothing will disturb you and face each other, as you are now each going to take turns expressing your thoughts and feelings about your issue at-hand. One of you will be the speaker and the other will be the listener. No interrupting, Listener! Speaker gets center stage right now?you'll have your chance later! Speaker should have 3-5 minutes to share his perspective to keep the conversation concise and focused Cheap Under Armour Curry Shoes For Sale , and this also avoid the monopolizing of ?airtime?; typically one partner can be more verbal than the other and this allows equal sharing-time.


No matter how much you get the urge to break-in should your partner say something that you don't like, hold it back! It's not about you right now, it's about you demonstrating to your man that you care and are invested in understanding life through his frame-of-reference Cheap Under Armour Curry Shoes , no matter how different it may be from yours. Listening is not about agreeing with your boyfriend and doing what he says, it's about being fully present and gaining clarity into each other's experience of your rela. Cheap Jerseys Cheap Authentic Jerseys Cheap NHL Jerseys Online Cheap Custom Soccer Jerseys Cheap Soccer Replica Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys China Wholesale NHL Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys From China Wholesale MLB Jerseys Wholesale NFL Jerseys China